INTRODUCTION

The spark for “Foet” flashed in my brain on or about three A.M. on November 11, 1990. (I know because I wrote it down on a daily calendar sheet.)

It came as I lay awake after an argument with someone over fur coats. (Such a deal, she’d bought two.) She wasn’t fazed at all that anal electrocution—ramming an electrode through the anus and into the innards, then turning on the current—is the method of choice for killing minks. (Mustn’t mess up the pelts, you know.) Her attitude: Animals are here for our use, to do with as we please. Another woman at the table agreed. My wife, Mary, didn’t want to hear. She was squeezing my thigh under the table as she does when she knows I’m about to ignite. I realized then that you cannot have a serious conversation about the humane treatment of animals when vanity or fashion has hijacked the helm. These folks would never harm a dog or a cat. Yet inform them that a bunch of little animals were broiled alive from the inside to make their coat and they shrug it off because it’s so beauuuuuutiful.

I remember thinking that night that they’d probably wear human skin if the fashionistas said it was in vogue.

And thus was “Foet” born. Tom Monteleone picked it up for Borderlands 2.

Think of it as a companion piece to “Pelts.”